THE UNDEFINED AND UNKNOWN - Christopher Calvin Govender

Why I hated my birthday

A thought that resonates with me is that one day I’m going to die and so too will my loved ones. It’s amazing that we act as if we have an infinite amount of time. There is no urgency about how limited our lives are. We think that there is so much time left to show our loved ones how much we really care about them that we postpone doing it. We might show them that we care reservedly on special occasions like birthdays or Christmas. We might get them a gift and write them a note. And that’s where it stops for us.

I hated my birthday every year I can remember having one. It’s the one day where everyone is supposed to be celebrated (by default) by everyone that cares for them. And within that sentence lies the very problem I wish to solve. I’m going to change that sentence. Birthdays are the one day where most people are usually celebrated by the ones that love them. Nobody is supposed to be celebrated by others. Nobody is supposed to be loved by others. 

Yet if you love, you are supposed to show it and try to show how much. That’s pretty much all we can do. And so, we should want to do it more often. We should want to show the magnitude of our love every day. But do we? Why do we hold back? Is it because we’re afraid?

Love is given conditionally. We all know that. We may try to give it without any fine print but it’s ours to give and ours to choose who we give it to. Whomever you love, remember it is you who chose to love them. It is you that decided they are so important to you, that you give them something as magical as life itself.

And this brings me to this point: Love is shown unconditionally. There is no reason, no excuse, or justification for not showing love.  Every opportunity you get to show love should be pounced upon and grabbed with both hands and feet tightly with everything. Are you free? Yes? Then say what is in your heart. Say the things you’ve always wanted to say, but didn’t.

I no longer hate my birthday. It’s the day I came into this world. I’m going to celebrate myself. I’m going to show myself how much I love me. Because I do love me. It’s the only love I can give to myself, so I give it liberally and generously. No holding back. 

Maybe take today to do the same for yourself. Show yourself how much you love you. And maybe there’s an opportunity for you to do the same for someone else. Why don’t you take it and embrace it? You never know, it might make a world of a difference. 

PS: My birthday was the best ever! I am so lucky! I am sincerely grateful 🙂