THE UNDEFINED AND UNKNOWN - Christopher Calvin Govender

Self inception

I saw a picture of the world’s ugliest woman. I won’t mention her name because I believe that is not something she should be known for, but that got me thinking about: the abnormal, the outcasts, the circus freaks. I watched Victor Frankenstein recently, and the part that I liked the most was that a circus freak got rescued, returned to normal, and got the girl whom he loved. However, what I became curious about is, would she have loved him if he was still a freak? Would she have even given him a chance?

Are freaks and the strange worth loving? The default answer is yes but then I have to ask, why do so few people really believe it? Yes, sometimes I even feel like a freak, out of place and alone so this is my answer and it goes for everybody.

Nobody is expected to love you. Not your wife or your husband. Not your kids or siblings. Not your friends. Not even your mother. That sounds depressing but it’s true. Let that settle in for a minute. 

Now ask yourself this question: what if the pain in your heart right now and the loneliness you feel was not because you needed the love of another? What if all it was saying is that you needed love – and you decided, you convinced yourself as if it already existed, that that love should come from another? You planted the idea, and wiped your prints off. You planted the inception in yourself (yes, like the movie, except you are both Dom and Saito). You did such a great job that you are even struggling to believe this, yet I will not try to convince you. I will only continue to ask questions. The answers are for you to find out. 

What if you didn’t need the love of another? What if you didn’t have to feel alone? What if, just what if, you loved yourself truly and deeply, and then needing someone else to care about you didn’t matter anymore? What if you loved yourself like your life depended on it? What if you only but tried?

4 views

The addict and the artist

Have you met an addict? Well, take a look in the mirror and say hello. Have you met an artist? You’ve guessed it, take another look in the mirror. The artist may seem strange or new to you, but I assure you the artist has always been there, even before the addict existed. Don’t be rude, say hi.

Now, why haven’t you seen the artist before? 

Let me ask you a question: have you seen someone beautiful on Instagram (or any other form of social media) I mean, besides yourself? Well, I have seen plenty hot broads and plenty of sexiness. Some of them may be reading this. I’d like to say this to you, and everyone else. When Instagram is a shadow of your art, Twitter a speck of your book, alcohol used as a smoke screen to cover up your pain, and television is an escape from reality – this is when you know you are not pursuing your calling. You are not creating your art. The pain you go to bed with on a Sunday night and wake up with on a Monday morning, you think it’s because of your job. No. It is in fact, a reminder to create your art. To do your work.

Your Instagram is beautiful. Your twitter quite profound. Your tipsy dance moves are mesmerizing. Imagine if you simply took the time, day by day, week by week, to create your art, what masterpieces you would create! Imagine, if you just took the time to figure out what your art is. The world will admire your bravery, the gods will bless your endeavors, and the muse will strengthen your resolve, and if you don’t care about that – care about your art. Why else are you here? Why else are you alive? Is it to only drink and be merry? There’s plenty of time for that. I’d even join you. Or better yet, is it to chip away at marble and create something unique, or to teach some preschoolers something cool, or to help your employer innovate?

Every day we have an opportunity. In the words of the legendary Master Oogway: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift that is why it is called present”. Which will you choose – to live with labor and love, or to exist in the shadows?

I am rooting for you, and for your art patiently – but don’t take too long! 🙂

3 views

Playing a first person shooter

Benji and Emmerson spot a spellbinding dame across the room. 

Benji: Go up to her and introduce yourself?

Emmerson: But I’m not dressed as…

Benji abruptly interrupts him: Stop! She already thinks you’re ugly, stupid, not worth her time and effort. You know this, don’t you?

Emmerson: Yes.

Benji: How?

Emmerson: I don’t know.

Benji: All I see is a vixen that is worth my time.

Emmerson: But I don’t know what to say. I’m not good with conversations.

Benji: When playing a first person shooter stop looking for yourself. This is a first person shooter game. You look at her, and you look for her. Ambiguous as she seems, ambiguity is her name. So say, “Hello Ambiguity, I’m Emmerson.”

The same could be said of that job opening you are too afraid to apply for, or that screen play that you are afraid no one will like, or that idea you are too afraid to tell your boss about, or that song you are too afraid to write.

All I see is a chance to do something that counts, to do something that matters, to write something that may help someone, to say something that may change someone who needs it. Take your turn and overcome fear, overcome resistance – and if you try, maybe someone else will too.

Sometimes we see things that aren’t there, or feel things that aren’t real. Are our stories real or not? You decide.

3 views

When my crazy meets your crazy

Imagine a glorious beaut. The Duchess of duchesses. The Naomi to this Jordan Belfort. This is what comes to mind when I think about her:

“If you know how?”, she whispered as she walked away. 

A kind of sortilege, if you had the courage for those sorts of things. Well I didn’t, but her enchantment, her marshmallow soft supple mesmerism, made me a surrendered marionette – and I loved it.

Cherry blossom? Cotton candy? Tickle me? How Google knows the difference between those amazes me, but even a color blind fool such as myself could recognize, with a kind of spiritual awakening – strapless – pink – a gentle peck of a kiss, that caressed an unbeating, unoxygenated heart. Ba boom. Ba boom. Lub Dub. Lub Dub.

So descriptive and yet so eluding.

Life entered my entire being. I stood up, zeroed in – a warrior emerged. Sights set. Battle charge ready. This was no war. A challenge, a dare rather. I ran after her with masculine subtlety, tugged her hand and said: “Hey! The thing with imagination is you don’t need to know how, you only need but know – and I know”.

I stood next to her and offered my hand, with a smile that said: “Join me”?

(No this really didn’t happen. I made it up. Sigh.)

The truth is – as beautiful as she looks (and that may change), this will not change: she poops. She farts (though ever so softly). If she hasn’t brushed her teeth – her breath may kill you, she throws up after too many drinks, and when she is sick her nose leaks mucus and her eyes get puffy.

When you treat a woman like a goddess, she starts to believe that she shouldn’t have any imperfections. She starts to panic about her belly fat and a spot on her nose. Maybe just treat her like a gentleman would, then as a friend, and then as a partner. Maybe then she’ll show her imperfections. Maybe you’ll fall in love with them. Maybe she’ll fall in love with them too.

The same is applicable from the other point of view. A guy should take care of himself, though he shouldn’t be afraid of his peculiar attributes, he should embrace it. After all, who wants to be with someone who isn’t excited to be with them? The real them – poop, farts, acne, and belly fat included.

Here’s my crazy. Show me yours?

15 views

The Box

Have you ever seen a child play in a cardboard box? They’d sit in there and it becomes a whole new world. A rocket ship landing on Jupiter, or a gorilla in the jungle chased by hunters. This brings me to the phrase  – “think outside the box”.
 
Is the box really the problem? Any child, rich or poor, can turn that box into a theater of endless entertainment –  and this, I think, needs to be re-learned if we want to go places we’ve never been before.
2 views

The noise in here and the noise out there

Have you ever tried to talk over someone or background noise? Have you been to a club and had to use made-up sign language ’cause the music is so loud?

When you want to do something or need to do something but you can’t hear yourself –  that’s Procrastination.

Noise – that’s the problem.

Noise in your head or noise around you or both, but if you learn to focus, to zone in, you can achieve greatness and they’ll remember your name for thousands of years.

NO THEY WILL NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what you should do instead.

Learn the habit of trying. Try even though you know you will fail. Do half a push up. Write one line or even one word. Just learn to try. When you find something not interesting or entertaining, try doing it. Just try. Keep trying. You know you are going to fail but you are trying to say – I tried, and fuck you world, and fuck you success, and fuck you social pressure and judgmental people, and fuck myself for ever thinking I had something to prove to them. I only have something to prove to myself that is I can say fuck you to all those things.

You might say, “but that’s a waste of time”, “or don’t you think a better way to say fuck you is to not do anything at all?”. I want to talk about someone I admire a lot. You know the Batman? Well I want to talk about the other guy. The Joker. He knew how to say fuck you. If ever there were Oscars for saying fuck you, he would win every year. He was the most surprising, most unpredictable enemy the batman ever knew.

Be like the joker. Okay, don’t kill people and break the law, but learn how to say Oscar winning fuck yous.

The world expects you not to try, or to try a few times, ’cause they know you will get disappointed and quit. But hey, you know you are going to fail. Yes that’s right, even though subconsciously you secretly believed you might, just might, with the gods help and lady luck, you might succeed. Well fuck them too. You are going to fail, and if after 50 years or even a hundred you still haven’t – you are going to fail. And it’s okay. It’s normal. The game is rigged. You are not in control and you never will be. This is life, and you are alive ’cause you are reading about this fucker saying fuck you to other fuckers.

So do the most illogical thing, the most surprising thing – try. Keep trying, and then try harder ’cause it’s a sweeter fuck you (but say a basic fuck you first).

And in the end when you have said a ton of fuck yous – that’s it – the end. “Fuck you”, on my tombstone.

Fuck you very nicely 🙂

From this dick shit of a cunt (Tyrion Lannister voice).

1 view

Create your Answer cause you’ll never find it

How to go from A to B?
 
There are literally infinite paths. But very few people get there.
 
Money. Freedom. Happiness. Love. You name it, if it has value it is scarce. Nobody gets it free and nobody gives it for free.
 
So why do so few people get there?
 
My opinion:
 
The majority didn’t start walking. They were thinking about should I run, drive, or fly? Who else got there? What are the difficult parts or problems I might face? What is the quickest route? Can someone take me there?
 
Even crawling is better than what you are doing!
 
Possibilities, options, and efficiency are the enemy of effectiveness and of getting there. Just try. That’s all.
 
Notice I said walking for a reason. I’ve made up my mind. I chose, and I chose to get there. Yes, to the holy grail, ‘Point B’.
 
Remember this: Whatever answer you need, it can never be found. Only created, and only by you. One day it does not exist, the next day it does. 
 
Try – that is the answer.
0 views

Allow yourself to be lucky

 Luck. Success. Perseverance.
 
Some fake it. Some ruthlessly take it. Some just show up.
 
When I think about it, this is what comes to mind:
 
You don’t need a sheet to sleep on a bed. You don’t need a bed if you’re sleeping on the floor, but can you sleep in the rain? Can you live on rice and beans?
 
Can you live without Facebook, snapchat, twitter, TV, computers, PS4, the Internet, even cell signal, and God forbid, electricity? Can you live without debt?
 
If you are ever going to be lucky, it’s going to be because you allowed yourself to be. Because you allowed yourself to be free.
 
A message to myself.

 

2 views

The habit of trying

Try. Try to try. Try again.

If stagnant – try differently. Try small. Try slowly. Try fast.

And if you must, try something else.

If anything is worth trying, it should be at least worth 20 hours of effort. That’s my opinion.

The things that are worth having, that are valuable and highly sort after – There’s no best way. No shortcut. No guarantee. No easy way. It is hard. It is long. It’s  not complicated. It is achievable. Obtainable. Worth the effort.

So learn the habit of trying. Just try.
4 views