Warning: the post below contains bad language, poor punctuation, and is mildly egotistical.

Let’s start with some basics.
How to give a fuck:
“Fuck left. Fuck right. Fuck down, but never fuck up. Unless you have good back support first. “
How not to give a fuck:
“Hey buddy. Look up in the sky. Right over there. Can you see it? Look closer. You see that spec over there? That’s my last fuck, flying away.”
And as for what follows? Just don’t go there.
Between a jerk and desperation:
“A fucktard or fuck tart, you tell me?”
What does a fuck up say to another fuck up? 
“Higher! Come on, higher! You can do it!”
(Okay, it’s funnier after some tequila I believe)
So what’s the point of this?
Don’t be desperate. Don’t be a douche. Don’t be a fuck up, and yes you can choose not to be. You have a choice right now, but you already knew that, didn’t you? 
Did you know this?
Fucks should be valued. Value yourself, your time, and your energy – more than you value whether others give a fuck about you.
The most important fucks are the ones not given. The greatest fucks are hard and are full of passion. But you know what’s the worst fucks? The worst fucks are the ones we say to ourselves. 
We have a limited amount of fucks. Value it. If you want to give a fuck, take your time and make it count. And remember, the fucks we need desperately are the ones we should give about ourselves. 
So what are you waiting for? Don’t say kum-bah-yah and just continue as usual, say skirrrrrr prrrrrrrr pa pa. 
Fucks given: None. Fucks taken: None. Guess what, Your fucks just went up in value. 
In conclusion:
If life’s a box of chocolates, then I ate it all. Because fuck you. Does it make sense? Who gives a fuck? I like chocolate. 
And a poom poom skiddy ka ka