THE UNDEFINED AND UNKNOWN - Christopher Calvin Govender

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Self inception

I saw a picture of the world’s ugliest woman. I won’t mention her name because I believe that is not something she should be known for, but that got me thinking about: the abnormal, the outcasts, the circus freaks. I watched Victor Frankenstein recently, and the part that I liked the most was that a circus freak got rescued, returned to normal, and got the girl whom he loved. However, what I became curious about is, would she have loved him if he was still a freak? Would she have even given him a chance?

Are freaks and the strange worth loving? The default answer is yes but then I have to ask, why do so few people really believe it? Yes, sometimes I even feel like a freak, out of place and alone so this is my answer and it goes for everybody.

Nobody is expected to love you. Not your wife or your husband. Not your kids or siblings. Not your friends. Not even your mother. That sounds depressing but it’s true. Let that settle in for a minute. 

Now ask yourself this question: what if the pain in your heart right now and the loneliness you feel was not because you needed the love of another? What if all it was saying is that you needed love – and you decided, you convinced yourself as if it already existed, that that love should come from another? You planted the idea, and wiped your prints off. You planted the inception in yourself (yes, like the movie, except you are both Dom and Saito). You did such a great job that you are even struggling to believe this, yet I will not try to convince you. I will only continue to ask questions. The answers are for you to find out. 

What if you didn’t need the love of another? What if you didn’t have to feel alone? What if, just what if, you loved yourself truly and deeply, and then needing someone else to care about you didn’t matter anymore? What if you loved yourself like your life depended on it? What if you only but tried?

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The addict and the artist

Have you met an addict? Well, take a look in the mirror and say hello. Have you met an artist? You’ve guessed it, take another look in the mirror. The artist may seem strange or new to you, but I assure you the artist has always been there, even before the addict existed. Don’t be rude, say hi.

Now, why haven’t you seen the artist before? 

Let me ask you a question: have you seen someone beautiful on Instagram (or any other form of social media) I mean, besides yourself? Well, I have seen plenty hot broads and plenty of sexiness. Some of them may be reading this. I’d like to say this to you, and everyone else. When Instagram is a shadow of your art, Twitter a speck of your book, alcohol used as a smoke screen to cover up your pain, and television is an escape from reality – this is when you know you are not pursuing your calling. You are not creating your art. The pain you go to bed with on a Sunday night and wake up with on a Monday morning, you think it’s because of your job. No. It is in fact, a reminder to create your art. To do your work.

Your Instagram is beautiful. Your twitter quite profound. Your tipsy dance moves are mesmerizing. Imagine if you simply took the time, day by day, week by week, to create your art, what masterpieces you would create! Imagine, if you just took the time to figure out what your art is. The world will admire your bravery, the gods will bless your endeavors, and the muse will strengthen your resolve, and if you don’t care about that – care about your art. Why else are you here? Why else are you alive? Is it to only drink and be merry? There’s plenty of time for that. I’d even join you. Or better yet, is it to chip away at marble and create something unique, or to teach some preschoolers something cool, or to help your employer innovate?

Every day we have an opportunity. In the words of the legendary Master Oogway: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift that is why it is called present”. Which will you choose – to live with labor and love, or to exist in the shadows?

I am rooting for you, and for your art patiently – but don’t take too long! 🙂

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Playing a first person shooter

Benji and Emmerson spot a spellbinding dame across the room. 

Benji: Go up to her and introduce yourself?

Emmerson: But I’m not dressed as…

Benji abruptly interrupts him: Stop! She already thinks you’re ugly, stupid, not worth her time and effort. You know this, don’t you?

Emmerson: Yes.

Benji: How?

Emmerson: I don’t know.

Benji: All I see is a vixen that is worth my time.

Emmerson: But I don’t know what to say. I’m not good with conversations.

Benji: When playing a first person shooter stop looking for yourself. This is a first person shooter game. You look at her, and you look for her. Ambiguous as she seems, ambiguity is her name. So say, “Hello Ambiguity, I’m Emmerson.”

The same could be said of that job opening you are too afraid to apply for, or that screen play that you are afraid no one will like, or that idea you are too afraid to tell your boss about, or that song you are too afraid to write.

All I see is a chance to do something that counts, to do something that matters, to write something that may help someone, to say something that may change someone who needs it. Take your turn and overcome fear, overcome resistance – and if you try, maybe someone else will too.

Sometimes we see things that aren’t there, or feel things that aren’t real. Are our stories real or not? You decide.

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